What Makes a Chef
We live in a world where everyone believes their opinions hold value. Social media gives us a platform to voice our views on any topic we choose to discuss and to pass along any information we wish to share.
But as you have read through the last thirteen chapters, you can see that I have a little bit of backing for what I believe makes a chef, a chef.
The first ingredient is roots. Whether it’s understanding your family traditions and history or having an early foundation of passion for food, remembering why you started keeps you grounded.
I always look back fondly on the days of my grandmother making her rice and gandules in her walk-up apartment in the Bronx. I also remember my grandmother Dolores making a meal out of just white rice and canned corned beef hash and making it feel like a fine dining experience. Ultimately, that foundation is built on love. Love for food and the people you serve. As you grow in your culinary career, you learn to love the people who work alongside you as well. They become a part of your story and your success.
The second ingredient is sacrifice. I spent my early years missing out on fun with my friends and even my senior prom. I remember working one particular 4th of July. My grandfather Victor, another childhood hero of mine, was gravely ill in the hospital. I, of course, was grilling hamburgers and hot dogs for 100 hungry nuns while he was on his deathbed. I got the call that he had passed mid-shift. Instead of packing up and running out, I cleaned up and closed the kitchen just like I normally would. I went straight to the hospital from work, still smelling of the grill I had just spent hours cooking over. It’s not a bragging point or an angle to exhibit arrogance. It is simply an example of how much we as chefs are willing to give up to maintain our sense of responsibility. We spend the greater part of our workday racing against a clock. Time is always in our line of sight. But when we don’t spend it with our loved ones in moments that matter, the people closest to us may find it extreme. But to us, it’s just being a chef.
Next is balance. As I grow older, now 43 years of age, I have learned that it can’t always be about work. I know for the restaurant owner working seven days a week, that is easier said than done. But just as we spend our days racing against the clock, the clock in turn passes us by. My mentor and friend from the all-girls boarding school lost her life in a drunk driving accident in November of 2024. Her last text message to me read, “Happy birthday chef, I love you.” My reply was, “I love you too chef. We need to get together soon, it’s been too long.” We never got together. I was too “busy” with work. Our lives are comprised of the moments we create both inside and outside of work. There has to be a balance between both to make us whole. Otherwise, we could wake up one day with a heart full of regret. Doing what you love shouldn’t lead you to regret anything. It should lead you to peace.
Be a teacher. Always be willing to share what you know about your craft. There is no reason to keep anything close to your chest. Part of growth and being a leader is paying forward the lessons you have picked up along the way.
Be accountable for your actions, your work, and your decisions. The consequences of any of those three things are yours to answer for and manage. Good, bad, ugly, or indifferent, our choices define the manner in which we grow.
Show perseverance. You will fail. You will make mistakes. You will fall. You get back up and show up the next day. That’s how you push forward.
A mentor is valuable. If you have someone who is great in an area where you are lacking and wants to take the time to teach you what they know, embrace it. Absorb their knowledge and adopt their wisdom. It will only make you better at your craft.
Be open to changes and willing to learn. New does not mean bad. Comfort kills ambition. Complacency can deprive us of our longing to be better. Comfortable is easy. It doesn’t take much thought or effort. But when we force ourselves to learn new systems, techniques, or environments and combine them with what we already know, our potential only intensifies.
Remember to laugh. The days can be long. The stress can get to you and wear you down. If you take a moment to crack a joke with a colleague or have a chuckle with a customer, you are making an effort to lift weight off your soul. You are doing what you love, so smile about it.
Take pride in presentation. The presentation of your food, your kitchen, and yourself all reflect on you as a leader. People always have their eyes on you — especially when you are in charge. When you think they aren’t watching, that’s when they are paying the most critical attention. Keep your food neat, your kitchen clean, and your appearance tidy. You’ll be respected for it.
Respect is everything. Show respect to your colleagues, your superiors, your customers, your craft, your product, and most importantly to yourself. You earn what you give in life. Integrity and respect will take you far.
Be present. Come to the kitchen engaged and ready to face whatever comes at you each day. You are not always going to make the right choices, and you aren’t always going to have the best showing, but being present and having your mind clear gives you the best chance to stay on the path to success.
Pay attention to the details. Small things add up in this industry — placement of equipment, the organization of the cooler or storeroom, the days you bring in product based on your menu rotation. Minor details that go overlooked can make a difference in keeping your cool and managing your business.
Understand that your past doesn’t define you. It has only made you who you are up to this point. You can always learn and improve. You can adapt and learn from yesterday. The “I don’t do things that way” or “this is how I always do it” mindset will keep you stagnant. Embrace where you have been, but work toward where you want to go.
Stay humble. No matter how many years you’ve been cooking or how many awards you’ve won, humility keeps you approachable and willing to grow. In the kitchen, the ego should be the first thing you check at the door. There is always something to learn, and sometimes even the youngest cook on your staff has a lesson to teach you.
Understand it’s a business. A chef can get caught up in food just being food, but it’s a business. It’s numbers, deadlines, reports, schedules, planning, and managing your costs. Knife skills are great, but you have to know how to slice those numbers.
Care for yourself. Addiction and burnout are real. It’s easy to hit a wall when you’re running at full speed. Today we see so many chefs losing their lives to different types of issues, some of which are related to the hardships of this business. Our bodies and minds keep us going, so show them some love.
Be a champion of community. Be the magnet that brings people together. Whether it’s your staff or the people you serve on a daily basis, your ability to connect people is a powerful tool.
Be grateful. Be grateful for your family, your teams, your career, your health, your talents, and your shortcomings. They all make you who you are as a person and as a chef. Chefs rely on the people around us. We can’t do it alone — we have to show gratitude where it’s due.
Believe in yourself. Trust your skills and your instincts. Your experience doesn’t make you an expert in your craft, but it gives you wisdom.
I could probably keep going, but I think these points are strong enough to leave with you. Understand, deep in your heart, that the work you do matters. It matters to the people you feed, it matters to the people who work by your side, and because you get up every day and put on a chef coat before you walk into that kitchen, it matters to you.
